My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
