Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
