You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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