I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
