just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
