He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Only a mothe r could love this liver
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize