I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bring me that man meat
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
