I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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