what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize