Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
