can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I need to sanitize my soul.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
