i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
