You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
