after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
