I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize