I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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