That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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