dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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