Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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