I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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