I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize