if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
