Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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