guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
