ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
A+ Viking dick
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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