I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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