i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
