Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
