Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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