Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
my poor anus
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize