Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
