I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
