So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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