dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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