Is it because I queefed?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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