We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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