i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
