Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
