Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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