the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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