He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
