I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize