Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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