I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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