1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
