He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
