Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize