If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
