really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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