Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
