Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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