I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
you're hired as official boob wrangler
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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