2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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