I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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