So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it fun? or sober?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
