ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
