But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
