i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
jump out the window naked night went bad
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