God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
