did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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