Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
