LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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