I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize