Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
