Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
